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What do women want in
a man? It's a question the caveman must have asked. It's a question the
new-age man is still asking.
It's also a question Outlook asked in an exclusive opinion poll
across 10 Indian cities. We wanted to find out what is it about the male
that the Indian woman.
loves and what she loathes. The results are surprising—or expected,
depending on what you assumed. It wasn't money, property or career
prospects, or even looks and a good body, that mattered the most. What did
was how sensitive a man was to a woman's needs. He had to listen to her,
treat her as an equal and be honest to be in her good books. Interestingly,
the illiterate women prized equality even more than the well-educated.
Men who have Ghalib as a role model better drop him. Men with poetry in
their souls came in very low. As did the spiritual man. Caste, however, is
no bar: lower castes will do.
Devdas is definitely out: alcoholics were the most despised, across all
age groups, regions, and occupations. Irresponsible men and those who talk
loosely about women emerged as villains of the poll. So were men with
violent tempers. Vain and narcissistic men were certainly not the flavour of
the times.
Good sex, however, was almost unanimously considered important for a
good relationship—it was very important even for older women. But,
intriguingly, while women expressed a desire for sex, even taking the
initiative sexually, as many 55 per cent of the respondents thought that men
should be virgins when they marry.
Outlook - C fore Perception
Survey Among Women
Do women really need men?
Yes : 78
No : 14
Can't say : 8
- Do women really need men? No, say 32 per cent of women in
Chandigarh, 22 per cent in Vadodara, 20 per cent in
Calcutta and Chennai, but only 2 per cent in Vijayawada.
- As many as 47 per cent of divorced women think they don't really
need men. Only 10 per cent of married women and 17 per cent of
single women agree.
- Is it some sort of measure of independence that only 6 per cent of
housewives think women don’t really need men, while as many as 25 per
cent of self-employed women find men unnecessary?
Do you expect your man to help in domestic chores?
Yes : 80
No : 14
Can't say : 7
- 93 per cent of women in Delhi expect their men to help in domestic
chores; It is 92 per cent in Hyderabad, 88 per cent in Mumbai
and Vijayawada, and only 56 per cent in Vadodara.
- The verdict is clear. More than 80 per cent of women below 30
years of age expect help from their men at home. The figure for women
30 years of age and above is more than 75 per cent.
- Among those who can do without their men’s help about the house,
housewives number the highest—21 per cent. It is the lowest among
salaried women—only 8 per cent.
Is good sex very important?
Yes : 75
No : 10
Can't say : 15
- Only 4 per cent of women below 20 think good sex isn’t very
important, as opposed to a high 19 per cent of women above 40.
- 12 per cent of divorced women, 11 per cent of married women, and 8
per cent of single women believe that the importance of good sex is
over-hyped. No widowed women, however, think so.
- 94 per cent of women in Vijayawada and 85 per cent in Delhi feel
good sex is very important. But only 40 per cent of ladies from
Vadodara agree with this.
Will you tell your man about your
past affairs?
Yes : 58
No : 30
Can't say : 12
- 62 per cent of married women would tell their men about their past
affairs. Only 37 per cent of divorced women would trust their men that
much.
- While as many as 84 per cent of women in Calcutta would tell their
men about their past affairs, women in Vadodara are the most cautious:
a mere 35 per cent.
- Disclosure increases with age—47 per cent of women below 20 would
reveal their past affairs. The figures for women between
20 and 30 years, 30 and 40 years, and above 40—61 per cent, 63 per
cent and 60 per cent respectively.
What would you do if your man had a fling?
walk out : 43
have a fling yourself : 20
Sulk : 37
- 51 per cent of women above 40 will only sulk if their men had an
affair, while 56 per cent of women below 20 will walk out on their
men.
- In Delhi, 38 per cent of women would respond by having a fling
themselves. So would 33 per cent in Chandigarh and 32 per cent in
Calcutta.
- 56 per cent of divorced women would walk out from the
relationship. Married women are more forgiving—38 per cent would walk
out, and 41 per cent would only have a good sulk.
Should the man you marry be a virgin?
Yes : 55
No : 27
Can't Say : 18
- Across all age groups, the majority of Indian women (between 52
and 58 per cent) want the men they marry to be virgins.
- 61 per cent of students, 58 per cent of housewives, 52 per cent of
salaried women, and 39 per cent of self-employed women would want the
men they marry to be virgins.
- A respondent in Delhi wrote on the survey form next to her answer
to this question: "If a man claims to be a virgin, take
him to a hospital. He must be suffering from some sexual disorder!"
What would you like your man to be?
Not sexually experienced at all : 51
Moderately sexually experienced and moderately experimental : 37
Sexually very experienced and experimental : 12
- 53 per cent of women between 20 and 30 years of age want their men
to be sexually totally inexperienced. Only 12 per cent want them to be
very experienced.
- 55 per cent of married women would want their men to be
“moderately sexually experienced”, 10 per cent “sexually very
experienced”, and 35 per cent “not sexually experienced at all”.
- Metro check. Delhi—60 per cent of women want their men not to be
sexually experienced at all. The figures for Mumbai, Calcutta and
Chennai—38 per cent, 40 per cent and 55 per cent.
Would you be comfortable if your man wants you to take the
initiative sexually?
Yes : 43
No : 36
Can't say : 21
- 64 per cent of women in Calcutta would be uncomfortable if their
men wanted them to take the initiative sexually. Only 14 per cent of
women in Vijayawada have any qualms about that.
- 44 per cent of women below 30 years of age will have no problem
with this. The figure is nearly the same for women between 30 and 40
years of age. But it falls to 37 per cent for older women.
- Can’t says score quite high on this question: 32 per cent of
students, 25 per cent of unemployed women, 22 per cent of
self-employed women, 20 per cent of salaried women. Housewives are the
least unsure. Only 13 per cent don’t know how they will respond.
What would you do if your man were to hit you?
Walk out : 31
Hit him back : 34
Retreat into a corner : 18
Don’t know : 17
- If her man were to hit her, a woman between 20 and 30 is 36 per
cent likely to hit him back and 31 per cent likely to walk out. 12 per
cent would retreat to a corner.
- 66 per cent of women who are graduate or above will either walk
out or hit back. Only 39 per cent of illiterate women will do the
same.
- In Bangalore, 53 per cent would hit their men right back, 18 per
cent would walk out. Compare that with Vadodara—only 4 per cent would
walk out, 26 per cent would hit back, 35 per cent would retreat to a
corner, and a full 35 per cent can’t say how they would respond
What Women Like The Most In Men?
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On a scale of 1-10, with 1
representing what women like the least and 10 denoting what women like
the most |
| |
|
Attributes |
Avg. Score |
| |
|
Ability to understand a woman |
8.70 |
| An honest man |
8.62 |
|
Treats women like equals |
8.57 |
| Intelligent |
8.50 |
|
Homemaker and a good father |
8.22 |
| The faithful
sort, not a skirt-chaser |
8.16 |
|
Good conversationalist and a sense of
humour |
8.14 |
| Independent,
not a mama’s or papa’s boy |
7.66 |
|
A good-looking man with a good body |
7.47 |
| A rich man
with property |
7.44 |
|
Good lover and sexually imaginative |
7.02 |
| Spiritual |
6.44 |
| |
AGE-WISE LIKES
Below 20 yrs:
1. Ability to understand women;
2. Treats women like equals;
3. An honest man;
4. Intelligent.
20-30 yrs:
1. An honest man;
2. Treats women as equals;
3. Understands women;
4. Intelligent.
30-40 yrs:
1. Should understand women;
2. Homemaker and a good father;
3. An honest man;
4. Intelligent.
CITY-WISE LIKES
Bangalore: Honest man;
Vadodara : Conversationalist;
Chandigarh: Faithful;
Chennai: Good father;
Kochi: Honest man;
Delhi : Understanding;
Hyderabad : Understanding;
Calcutta: Honest man;
Mumbai: Understanding;
Vijayawada: Good looking.
CATEGORY-WISE LIKES
Working Women:
1. Intelligent;
2. An honest man;
3. Homemaker and good father;
4. Understanding.
Housewives:
1. An honest man;
2. Should understand women;
3. Treat women like equals;
4. Intelligent. |
What Women Dislike The Most In Men?
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On a scale of 1-10, with 1
representing what women dislike the least and 10 denoting what women
dislike the most |
|
Attributes |
Avg. Score |
|
Drinks too much |
7.84 |
| Irresponsible |
7.77 |
|
Talks loosely about women |
7.74 |
| Violent temper |
7.73 |
|
Always puts others down |
7.70 |
| Vain/Obsessed
with self |
7.66 |
|
Show-off/Name-dropper |
7.56 |
| Nerd/Boring |
7.40 |
|
Smokes |
7.05 |
| Stingy |
7.01 |
|
Insanely possessive |
6.65 |
| Lower caste |
5.79 |
AGE-WISE DISLIKES
Below 20 yrs:
1. Drinks too much;
2. Obsessed with self;
3. Talks loosely about women;
4. Violent.
20-30 yrs:
1. Talks loosely about women;
2. Drinks too much;
3. Always puts others down;
4. Irresponsible.
30-40 yrs:
1. Drinks too much;
2. Talks loosely about women;
3. Irresponsible;
4. Puts others down.
CITY-WISE DISLIKES
Bangalore: Obsessed with self;
Vadodara: Violent;
Chandigarh: Smokes;
Chennai: Obsessed with self;
Kochi : Drinks too much;
Delhi: Show-off;
Hyderabad: Irresponsible;
Calcutta: Talks loosely about women;
Mumbai: Drinks too much;
Vijayawada: Talks loosely about women.
CATEGORY-WISE DISLIKES :
Working Women:
1. Talks loosely about women;
2. Drinks too much;
3. Violent temper;
4. Puts others down.
Housewives:
1. Irresponsible;
2. Drinks too much;
3. Puts others down:
4. Talks loosely about women. |
Methodology
The Centre For Forecasting and Research (C
fore)
conducted the survey in 10 cities between September 20 and October 1, 2002.
Over 100 women participated in focus group discussions in four metros to
finalise a comprehensive questionnaire. A total of 2,150 women were then
given the questionnaire in Delhi, Mumbai, Calcutta, Chennai, Bangalore,
Hyderabad, Kochi, Vadodara, Vijayawada and Chandigarh. The respondents were
asked to rate on a ten-point scale the attributes they liked or despised in
men. The attributes were ranked based on average rating. Of the respondents,
16 per cent were less than 20, 42 per cent were in the age group of 20 to
30, 24 per cent were between 30 and 40 and 18 per cent were above 40. Also,
53 per cent were married and 68 per cent graduates.
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